Grand Opening SiLC – February 7th

How to know if she is right for you

Knowing how to choose is the first step to finding the right person for you. Watch these new series where Cris and I talk about how singles can avoid the pain of making the wrong choice for a lifetime partner.

Mistakes we made early on in our marriage (p.4)

Cristiane was more emotional, I was more rational. She cried, nagged, imagined things... I told her, "YOU are the problem sort yourself out!" Not a good idea...

Mistakes we made early on in our marriage (p.3)

When Cristiane disrespected me, often unknowingly, she would hurt me to the core and I would respond by giving her the silent treatment, which didn't solve anything. Watch as we talk about what we each had to do in order to make our marriage work.

Mistakes we made early on in our marriage (p.2)

When Cris was jealous, insecure about herself and I thought having women friends was no big deal for a married man, guess what happened to our marriage?

Visit to UK, schedule

I'm looking forward to my visit to London, UK in a few days... A number of meetings have been scheduled where I'll be ministering at different locations – more details below.

If you live in London, I hope you'll be able to make it to one of these meetings*, which will go ahead whatever the weather!

• 17th January, Sunday 10am – Rainbow Theatre
• 17th January, Sunday 6pm – Kilburn (Portuguese service)
• 19th January, Tuesday 7.30pm – Peckham (can't wait to see the new church!)
• 20th January, Wednesday 7.30pm – Kilburn
• 21st January, Thursday 7.30pm – Edmonton
• 22nd January, Friday - Flying back to warmer weather (hopefully) in Houston :-)

My family and I are really happy we'll be able to see our old friends again. I want to thank Bishop Pierre and all the other pastors for hosting these events.

See y'all in a few days!

* For addresses & directions to these locations, please call (UK) 020-7686-6000

Mistakes we made early on in our marriage (p.1

Cris and I made many mistakes in the early years of our marriage. Watch as we talk about these serious mistakes and what we learned from them, saving yourself the pain of going through the same.

Are you your child's savior?

As a parent and a counselor to parents, I have observed many ways in which we hinder our children's progress and maturity in life. And one of them is when we try to rescue them every time they get into trouble.

A parent I was counseling recently was having problem with her 24-old daughter. She still lives with her mom, refuses to get a job, doesn't want to finish her studies — she basically lives off her mom, who works hard and barely manages to keep the bills paid. Not only does she still live in the house and doesn't help with the bills, she also wants her mom to give her money for cigarettes, drinks, and when she goes out with her friends.

From time to time, her daughter gets into trouble either because she needs money for something and doesn't have it or because she borrowed money from someone else and is now under pressure to pay back. Whatever the case, what usually happens is she runs to her mom and says "I need money for...." Her mom, amid whining and lecturing her, always bails her out.

That mom is what I call the savior parent. She can't help but think that if she doesn't rescue her child from her troubles, something terrible is going to happen to her.

All parents have a savior instinct. It's only natural to want to make sure your children are well and safe. The difference is that better parents learn to hold back from rescuing their child every time he or she needs it. They understand that one of the most effective learning experiences they can give their child is to LET THEM FAIL and face the consequences of their actions from time to time.

If you have been making this mistake, quit trying to be your child's savior. Your role is to teach them what is right and live out that role yourself. It's their role to follow it for their own good. If they don't, let life teach them the ultimate lesson.

I know, but it's HARD WORK!

Here's something I've learned from years of counseling people.

Thinking BIG – Small thinkers live small lives

Thinking big, in a nutshell, is to think like God. God’s thoughts are bigger than big. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts,” He said in Isaiah 55.9.

Man is limited only by his thoughts. And unfortunately, most people have been prisoners in the tiny prisons of their small thoughts.

You can only do what you think is possible. That’s why people who think small, live small lives.

What is to think small?

It’s to think of what you don’t have instead of what you do.

It’s to think of what you can’t do instead of what you can.

It’s to think of a problem instead of a solution.

It’s to think of what you have against you instead of what you have for you.

It’s to think that you already have enough because you have more than a pauper.

It’s to think that you have tried everything to get what you want when you’ve really only tried a handful of things.

It’s to think that successful people are just ‘lucky’ and that you are not as lucky as them.

It’s to doubt you will succeed and believe you will fail.

You can only do what you think is possible. Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you will ALWAYS be right.”

So when you catch yourself wondering why your life is this or that way, why it doesn’t get better, the answer will inevitably come down to the kinds of thoughts you’ve been thinking.

To think big is to think like God. And to think like God, first you must know what He thinks. And to know what He thinks, meditate on what He said in His Word. Here’s just one example:

“Ask of Me, and I will give you the nations for your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for your possession.” Psalm 2.8

What was it again you asked Him for when you prayed this morning?